Yeah, it's been awhile!

I can't believe that it's been since March that i have taken the time to write. Once i finally got the hang of this, i realized i enjoy it. It's not like i just slacked off though, i was actually busy doing stuff that needed to be done. Instead of taking the time to sit down and write about my life, i decided to live it. The boys were playing baseball every day and night so i didn't want to miss that to sit and write. Then, the end of school was coming and we were busy doing honors day and beta club and i didn't want to miss that to sit and write and of course school let out and summer began!! Instead of making a daily or every couple of days entry, i did what i was supposed to be doing as a mom and wife. There are days when the laundry sits in the basket longer than it should and the dishwasher is not empty and refilled, but how many days of summer is wasted on that!! I decided that no matter what i was going to have as much time with kids as possible. It's easy to schedule doctor's appointments, trips to the dentist and haircuts but what about making time to see that little stuff that happens. Like Evan for instance, the other day he cut the grass on the riding mower for the first time! He was thrilled! Now i know what we are all thinking, yeah this kid won't be so thrilled in 4 years when it becomes one of his duties around the house! But instead of telling him no again when he asked, i showed him how to do and put it in low gear. He only made a couple of cuts but the smile on his face when he called his dad to tell him he did it, that was just one of those moments!!
Lately, I have been thinking alot about my grandmothers. Even though they are young at heart, the day will come when they are called home to be with Jesus. I can't imagine not being able to hit 6 and talk on my cell and not hear Nanny say hello or press 7 and talk and get Granny telling me to hold on while she turns the t.v. down. haha! Isn't that her! The reason the boys visit with them and all is because of the memories i want them to have. Not just for my grandmothers, but honestly for my kids! That may sound weird! Think about it. Can you close your eyes and remember something funny your great-grandmother did. Or can you remember the way they talked. You know, the funny way they say or said things. Take for instance my Nanny. She is diabetic and instead of saying blood sugar, she says sugar blood. That always cracks me up for some reason. And of course my Granny. She can come up with stuff! She accidently inverted her sayings. Like my Grandpa talked about being on the farm when he was little and his father told him that when pigs started shaking their heads and having trouble with their ears, you should well... pee in them!! haha !!! My aunt told me that story the other night and i have laughed about that!!! Granny was telling it and said that the pig was supposed to you know... in their ears! That is something i will never forget.
Now that i am writing again, instead of trying to be politically correct all of the time or worry about stepping on toes (even though some people have no trouble STOMPING on others) i have some things that i really want to hash out! Clear my head and the air! There will be no rhyme or reason to the posts, just random thoughts probably! God is working in my house and shaking things around! It should be interesting what comes from these hands! Have a blessed day!

Just Me!

I have been writing about my kids and now i guess i need to actually write about me. Well, here it goes. I am an only child and the oldest grandchild on both sides. That sums it up! Nah just kidding! Anyway, after years and years of trying to have a baby and several miscarriages later we finally had Dalton in 1997. I was excited and scared all at once. I remember crying all the way home to Wrens thinking how in the world can we afford this and what about my great job?! Nothing like thinking of yourself in a time like that! My pregnancy was easy and i carried him to term. The delivery was rough. I pushed for hours and the pain medicine didn't work. Finally! A healthy boy weighing 7 lbs 9 oz. It didn't seem like no time and here comes Evan! Bad pregnancy and delivery. Two days after having Evan, i was having trouble breathing and i was swelling terribly. I had gained 25 pounds in two weeks. You are supposed to loose weight after childbirth not gain it! Brian came home from work one night and i was passed out on the kitchen floor. I don't know how long i had been there. He called 911 and when i woke up i was at the hospital. I had test after test ran and no one could figure out what was wrong. Later that night i remember waking up to a bunch of people standing over me and i honestly thought that i had died. My doctor told me that i had cardiomyopathy and congestive heart failure. I was an old woman in 2000. I was 27! My first thought was, "what about my kids?" I had a newborn and a 2 year old at home that needed me. I was very sick and stayed in the hospital the first time for almost a month. In August of that year, the cardiologist that was treating me sort-of well,, gave up on me and told me to make my arrangements and hope for the best. I shook his hand and walked out!! I was not going to give up! I had to raise my kids!! A couple of months later i started going to Emory in Atlanta and received wonderful care. It was hard making that trip 3 times a month by yourself with small kids! Most of the time my dear friend Cheryl would go with me and my mother-in-law kept the babies. They only gave me 3-5 years and i just celebrated my 9 year anniversary!!! God is GOOD!! I take medicine and keep waiting on the rest of my miracle! I decided to have Lap band surgery in August of last year. I needed to get this weight off since it's so bad for my heart! It's coming off very very slowly! I hope to be at my goal weight by next summer!! Remember me in High School... that's the goal!! HAHAH! Thank goodness for plastic surgery! I will need it!! Anyway, that sums up most of my last 9 years. Some things i will get to later. I have great kids, great friends, and a super family!! God Bless!

Tantrums!!

From time to time we are all guilty of throwing tantrums! Well, today is my day! I don't want to just put on my big-girl panties and be happy.. i want to throw down!! The weather here has been nice and the kids have been outside a lot after school. I have actually had someone tell me that i need to make my kids stay in and read instead of enjoying the sunshine! They complete their homework as soon as they come in, have a snack and do their chores and after that.. we go with the flow of the day. It's not like they see the light of day at school except when they are coming in or going home! Kids need that sunshine!!! It's good for their health and it gives them time to burn some of that pent up energy! I am so tired of someone telling me how i should raise my kids! I think that i am doing a great job! For the most part my kids are normal little boys with dirty hands and energy that every little boy should have. Baseball season is upon us and i know that Evan and hopefully Dalton will play and someone person told me that it's not like they are making money playing so why sign them up?! Well, it's like this! I believe that if you keep your kids involved with a activity or 2, they will grow up to hopefully not abuse drugs or alcohol. It's just my way of thinking! We live in a small town! Not a whole lot to do or see so why not play ball. They may not be making money playing, but it's great to see their faces light up when they hit a double, catch a fly ball or just joke with their friends! I need to stop before i say something ugly!! Sorry for the rant, just needed to vent! Let your kids play sports and you can read to them at night when they are laying in bed! It beats them being on the Internet to all hours of the night! And, i know where my kids are at all times!

Another Manic Monday!!

Well, it's Monday...again. The weather was beautiful this weekend and i had a house full of kids which i just love and things were looking good. Then, the other shoe drops. This mess with Dalton is taking on toll on everyone! He will have a good day and then BAM, he feels bad for a couple of days. Thursday and Friday of last week he felt crummy and i took him the see Dr. Brandy and we tested for strep and even though it was negative she felt that since i have cardiomyopathy and i had some little ones with a baby sister at home, that she needed to treat him for it anyway. Don't you love it when you have a great doctor!! Anyway, Saturday morning all of the boys and i got up and ran to Matthews for a church sponsered yard sale and then went to play at the park. Dalton played for about 15 minutes and then came to sit with me. He said "Mom, i am just so tired!" We stayed for another 30 minutes or so to let the Jonah enjoy the slide and then we went home and had lunch. Dalton said that he wasn't really hungry and went to his room. I cleaned up the kitchen and went to check on him. He was sleeping away. Jonah kept going in there and kept tapping his cast and tried hard to get him to get up and play. Finally that sweet baby laid his passie on the nightstand and walked out. I couldn't help but laugh!! Jonah went down for his nap and Noah and Evan played. Noah did his quiet time and he was so sweet too when he came in to check with me about the nap agreement. I tell him that he doesn't have to sleep just rest and then he can play as much as he wants too. He checks with me atleast 4 times and i firmly believe that he will be a great business man oneday! That kid can convience you of anything!!! Gotta love them!!! Dalton slept for 2 hours and came into the den wth the passie in his hand and was like... you got to be kidding me. How old am i again!!! After everyone was up and moving we went to some friends house and the boys played baseball and basketball. We went on the golf cart and discovered that like last time, Jonah wanted no part of the moving vehicle! He hated the 4-wheeler and now the golf cart too. After the second trip around the 6 acres we were on, he was hooked!! He would come and get me and say "go ride Amy"!! We went to see the cows and donkey's and we had a great time!! Finally, it was time for Heather and Andrew to come and get them and i was reallly sad to see them go. I really appreciate Heather letting me borrow them! I missed so much of when my were little since i was so sick and now i hate to miss a minute of anything! I love all three of those babies like they are mine! My kids think of them as siblings too! I love to watch all of them run through the field and push each other on the swings! Last night i was talking to my Aunt Bonnie and she was asking how Dalton was and i was going over everything with her and then he came into the den crying! I asked him what was wrong and he said that he just hurt all over and couldn't get comfortable. I gave him some Motrin and finally around 2:30 he was asleep. I ended up putting him in the bed with me. He tossed and turned and cried in his sleep all night. Poor fella didn't look very rested this morning but we had to go to school anyway. I keep waiting on the phone to ring saying that i need to come and get him. 1:00, so far so good. There has got to be something that we are overlooking with Dalton's health. He has been tested for everything under the sun and thankfully it has all been negative. It is so hard to look at your child and know that they just feel terrible. Dalton was a full term baby and has been sick since he was 10 days old. Evan on the other hand was 8 weeks early and been extremely healthy!! Praise the Lord!! Things will get back to normal around here sometime and then i will be running to the ballfield and cleaning up the kitchen after late dinners! My family and i really appreciate all of the prayers that have gone out on our behalf. We feel them constantly. A very good friend of mine prayed over Dalton saturday morning and i could see the love of Jesus on her face while she prayed! She told me that i needed to believe that things were going to be better. Not in my time, but in the Lord's time. That is my biggest problem. When i want something done, i want it done right then. I hate to wait! Miracles happen everyday all around us. Sometimes we are too busy to notice them and we often forget the thank God when they do happen. I try to start my day by saying Praise the Lord, but lately i have started my days with, i wonder how this day is going to be. I feel like i am fighting a loosing battle. A battle that is not only happening physically but mentallly as well. I know that there are so many children that are sick and dying and i can't imagine what those parents are dealing with. Whether you have children, young or old can you imagine how it must feel to spend your days watching your child grow sicker? You see it on T.V. and read about it all of the time, but until you walk in someone else's shoes, you haven't a clue. I do thank God daily that we are all safe and healthy. We all should. Things here could be a lot different and you never know day to day how one incident can change your entire life. Right now it is so quiet in my house. All is hear is the sound of Georgia (our BIG dog) snoring, pretty soon all i will hear are the boys arguing or playing games and doors slamming as they head outside! These are the sounds that remind me that i am a mom and i need to just sit back and let them be little! God Bless!

We had a blessing!!!

Since last Wednesday, my oldest son Dalton has been complaining of being tired and not eating very well. After getting another cast on Wednesday of last week, i called his doctor and they told me to bring him in Thursday morning after i dropped Evan off at school. So we headed over to Dr. Brandy's office and she drew a lot of blood and then Dalton heard the bad news. It was time for his 6th grade shots. Even though he is just in 5th grade, we figured that while we were there.. why not!!! You have to get 6 shots and Dalton has been through alot of sticks and pricks in his short life so he was determined to be brave. Well, by shot number 3 he was in tears. Big tears!!! He said that he was going to warn other kids about the dangers of going into the 6th grade. When it was finally over, he said "that wasn't so bad". Ha! Yeah right!! A few years ago, Dalton developed some white sores in his mouth and we had 2 biopsy's and with each we got a different diagnoses. Every time he has a flare up of these things he gets really tired and starts loosing weight. We have been going on the good road until now. It's started again. So, we have been tested for everything under the sun. Usually when we have labs drawn we have the results the next day. Not this time. I had to wait until Tuesday to get them. That was the longest 5 days of my life. I couldn't get the thought out of my head that my child might have cancer or lupus or something else that I couldn't fix!!! That is my job!!! I have to kiss away anything bad that happens!! To me, that is how all moms feel. His white counts have been through the roof lately but according to the labs, everything is normal! It's amazing what the power of prayer can do. I believe that if you call the person by name they will be healed. If you haven't tried it, give it a whirl!! He is still laying around and wanting to sleep all of the time. We are going to have another biopsy soon and maybe we can get some answers from that! Keep praying and we will all see more great things!! God Bless!

Happy Birthday Evan!!

Today is my youngest son's 9th birthday!! Every year on my children's birthday i have always made a big deal and go all out for them. Not like over the top parties or lavish gifts, just simple traditions that we share together. We go eat breakfast together where ever they want to go. Dalton just wants to run to McDonald's and Evan prefers the local diner here called Peggy's. Greasy but country cooking! This morning when Evan woke up he came in my room and climbed into bed with me and at 6:30 this morning, we shared our birthday talk. This is when the boys want to here all about the day or night they were born. Evan's birth was special to me in many ways. The pregnancy was a challenge and the delivery was a nightmare! We tried for almost 5 years to have our first child and spent a lot of time with fertility doctors and taking lots of fertility medicine to conceive, with Evan.... he just showed up! I found out i was having him three weeks to the day after my grandfather died. He didn't want Dalton to be an only child and he got his wish. The pregnancy almost killed me physically but at the same time, saved my life! I went into labor with him the first time when i was only 25 weeks along. The doctor told me that if he was born then, he wouldn't survive! I was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks and put on bed rest for the next 3 weeks. I was taken medicine around the clock to keep contractions to a minimum. At 28 weeks, i was 5 centimeters dilated and 80% effaced. Evan was coming. I remember the nicu nurse coming in that evening that i went back to the hospital and telling me that my baby would be born very sick and could possibly die! I told her that i believed different and that God had given me this baby for a reason and i was going to leave it in his hands. She actually laughed at me and said " that's crazy!!" By the next morning my contractions had stopped and the very next day i went home to be with Dalton that wasn't even 2 yet! Those next few weeks were crazy!!! Evan was born at 32 weeks and weighed a whopping 6lbs 9oz. He was enormous to be so early! He would've been 15 pounds if i would have carried him to term!! ha ha. The delivery was a breeze! Since i had carried him so low, 2 pushes and he was out. He was beautiful. You can hear everyone cheering but that was the only sound! Evan never cried! He just laid there in my arms turning blue! He was not breathing. It took 4 minutes for him to come around! That was the worst silence of my life. Evan is now a healthy boy who is full of energy!! I said early that his birth saved my life and it did. Two days after Evan's birth i started having trouble catching my breath and gaining weight. I had gained 35 pounds in 2 weeks by the time i was admitted to the hospital. I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy and congestive heart failure. If i wouldn't have had Evan i would have died, but having him almost killed me. He is truly my miracle! Both of my boys are the greatest gift! I can't remember my life before them. As i laid there this morning telling Evan about him spraying the nurses and hating his first bath, i watched him smile and listened to him laugh and thought that this moment will never come again and i am so grateful to be here everyday to share this with my kids. Happy Birthday to my little man. I love you more than words can express. Today was also the day that Dalton went to see the nerve doctor about his arm. Even though we were excited about celebrating we are sad with the news that we received from the doctor. Dalton's arm is in bad shape. He has been casted again for another 4 weeks. April 1 we will go back for more tests and will know more then. He will have to take it easy for a while and hopefully he will be healed and the arm will be normal again. Please lift him up in prayer. This is a serious situation for a child to be faced with. We have some big decisions to make on how we will treat this injury. The nerve damage cannot be fixed and will only get worst with time. If the cast does not help the problem, we will be faced with several surgeries. I believe that when you pray, you call someone by name and they will be healed. Miracles happen everyday! Just look at my family. Thanks for all of the birthday wishes and the prayers that are going out!! God Bless!

Things you learn from kids!

My oldest son Dalton, broke his left arm 8 months ago playing baseball and he wore a cast for almost 4 weeks. When the accident happened the doctor that was treating him told us that he would be in a cast for up to 6 weeks, have a MRI, and need surgery. We were surprised that they took the cast off early and never followed up with the rest of the treatment. A few weeks ago, we finally was able to get a doctor to order a MRI. Dalton has had pain every since they removed the cast and we were scared that the injury didn't heal correctly. We were right. Yesterday i finally got my hands on the written report from the test. We are so thankful that we have an appointment with a nerve specialist on Wednesday. Dalton is worried that since baseball season starts soon, he will not be able to play. Last night when i went down the hall to tell the kids goodnight, i stopped when i heard Dalton talking in his room. I thought maybe he was on the phone or just playing with the dog. He was in there praying. He was actually on his knees beside his bed. I could not help but cry when i was listening to his prayers. He was praying for healing. He actually asked the Lord to heal him. Dalton's words were plain when he spoke the words "Dear Lord, please heal me so my parents will not have to pay any more money to fix my arm." When i heard him say Amen, i walked into his room and he told me that he just finished praying and asking the Lord to heal him. He said that he didn't care if he missed baseball, he just didn't want us to have anymore co-pays. I told him that he shouldn't worry about that. Then i will never forget what he said next. He said parents worry about money all of the time, kids need to learn that it's not all about them all of the time. It's amazing what kids say everyday and what the little ears hear. Since we started over with the going from doctor to doctor trying to find the answers on why he is still in pain, i was worried about how he would feel if he didn't get to play ball this year. All this time i never thought that he was worried about us. I am grateful for my children and i learn something from them everyday! Tonight before i go to sleep not only will i pray for healing for Dalton but i will say a prayer of thanksgiving for him. This morning when i took the kids to school, Dalton reminded me that everything was going to be ok and for me to stop worrying about him. He is growing up more everyday! God Bless!